You'll Never Walk Alone

When you were on the very cusp of 20, Adam, we lost Grandpa Ernie, my sweet dad and best friend. This old world has never been the same for me since. I miss him. I miss him. I know what it's like to lose your dad. It's ever after being a little lost in life on some level. I remember you as a pallbearer at the funeral. And I remember that funeral being on your 20th birthday. Grandma thought that was unfair to you. As if one can time these things. Because we had to leave at 5 am the next morning to catch our flight back to California, I wanted to go back to the cemetery that evening so my littlest kids could see that the coffin was under the earth now, not all seemingly vulnerable and uncovered like when we left him there earlier that afternoon.

So after dinner, our extended family all drove out there to humor me. Grandma & I grabbed candles and when everyone got to the cemetery, I asked each one to share one thing about Grandpa that they would like to take with them into their life. So we created a family circle around his grave, lighting the candles one by one and making personal his legacy. I said I wanted to lighten up a little to be more like him. I have tried. Succeeded a little now and then. Still can't tell corny jokes like he did though. Sigh.

I hope the memory of that stays with you. We have been through a few more funerals since then. And I hope that from each loved one in your life, you will take a little strength- and whatever else of value you find- on your journey. We are all connected, after all. We are all here for each other. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

40 years, 40 random memories...how many more can you think of? How many more ahead??