Both Sides Now

Did I ever mention that my teenage aspirations involved wearing a habit and living in a convent?  At thirteen I was a dedicated volunteer in a Catholic hospital and took private lessons from a Catholic priest.  Who could ever be more inspiring, more controversial, more compelling than Jesus Christ?

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 

 1. He called everyone brother 

 2. He liked Gospel 

 3. He didn't get a fair trial 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 

 1. He went into His Father's business 

 2. He lived at home until he was 33 

 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God 

And then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 

 1. He talked with His hands

 2. He had wine with His meals 

 3. He used olive oil 

 Three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian : 

 1. He never cut His hair 

 2. He walked around barefoot all the time 

 3. He started a new religion 

Three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 

 1. He was at peace with nature 

 2. He ate a lot of fish 

 3. He talked about the Great Spirit 

Three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married. 

2. He was always telling stories.  

3. He loved green pastures. 

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 

 1. He fed a crowd at a Moments notice when there was virtually no food 

 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it   

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do